Looking Back to Leap Ahead

I'm really tired watching brilliant, driven women hit walls they shouldn't be hitting — and asking the wrong questions about why the outcome they were seeking didn't happen. The answer, almost every time, comes back to networking or more precisely, network strategy.

And this is why I wrote The Social Billionaire: A Networking Roadmap for Women Seeking to Flourish and Achieve More.

I want you to achieve the outcomes you're seeking.

In a series of Q&As, I'm pulling directly from the research, the frameworks, and the hard-won insights inside The Social Billionaire to answer reader questions — and dishing out the kind of honest, practical answers you'd get if we were sitting across from each other.

This is the fifth post in the series.

Q: How can I reactivate 'Past Networks' without feeling awkward?

A: Reactivating your "Past Networks" is a high-impact strategy for uncovering hidden social capital that is often buried in forgotten "gold mines" of your career.

Even when you're parted on good terms, reaching out after a long lapse in time to a connection in your network, is a nearly universal source of networking anxiety, but you can move from a mindset of hesitation to one of abundance by deploying the specific, actionable remedies from The Social Billionaire.

The Social Billionaire Remedy for Uncomfortable Outreach

To overcome the "awkward" hurdle, use this methodical approach to build your confidence and to take action:

1. Schedule it: Block out just 20 minutes on your calendar for outreach.
2. Pick your targets: List three names. Two should be current, close connections you talk to frequently, and the third should be your "long-lost" contact.
3. Execute in order: Write and send the emails to your current friends first. This warms up your "networking muscles" before you hit send on the third email to your past connection.
4. Breathe: Once you've sent the third email, recognize that the hurdle is cleared.

A Social Billionaire Drafting Suggestion: Leverage "We Experiences"

The most authentic way to bridge a time gap is to tap into shared history - aka "we experiences".

Reminisce about a specific project, a deadline you sweat through together, or a "remember when" moment from your time at a former job or school.

These "we experiences" create immediate relationship "stickiness" and remind the contact of your shared bond, making the reach-out feel purposeful rather than random.

The Social Billionaire "Three Bears" Rule for Outreach

When you reconnect, keep these rules - inspired by the "Three Bears" - in mind to ensure your ask is just right:

• Remind them of the link: Don't assume someone from your past has perfect memory recall of when you were employed at the same company, crossed paths at an event, or whatever; briefly remind them how you first met or worked together or volunteered at the same organization.
• Don't overreach: Avoid making a massive, brash "all about me" ask from the get go (i.e."hey, it's been ages, I see your are connected to X, I need to pitch them...") that might offend an acquaintance after a long silence. Rule of thumb? If it would offend you to receive your email, don't send it to someone else.
• Don't under-reach: If you have a specific reason for reaching out (i.e. a business opportunity or lead or connection which might be equally good for them), be clear about it, so they aren't left wondering why you are (potentially) bothering them for no reason.

📘 The Social Billionaire: A Networking Roadmap for Women Seeking to Flourish and Achieve More is available in paperback (workbook) format on Amazon + Barnes & Noble and in ebook on Kindle, Bookshop.org, Smashwords, Vivlio, Thalia, Apple Books, Fable and Rakuten kobo.

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💡 Book reviews help other readers find the books they should be reading, and I'd love ambitious women to get the networking strategy they need. Review The Social Billionaire on Amazon and/or Goodreads.

🗝️ If you’re planning events designed to boost women’s professional connections, let’s talk, as I’d love insights from The Social Billionaire to be part of these conversation.

Need more?

💡 Not all networks serve the same purpose - and that's the point. Strong Networks Have Layers.

💡 Sometimes the most strategic move is saying no. From My Inbox: The Power of a Strategic No

💡 Put yourself in front of opportunity rather than dreaming of serendipity. The Difference Between Serendipity And Ill-Prepared