From My Inbox: The Power in Disconnected Networks

Your strongest connections often make the worst connectors.

This likely sounds counterintuitive.

But stick with me here.

We naturally assume that the person who knows us the best, would be the optimal networking resource. But they are not fit for that task - because here's what actually happens: those connections tend to introduce you to people you already know or could easily meet yourself. When your networks mirror each other—when you frequent the same events, know the same people, move in identical circles—you're essentially networking in an echo chamber.

Think about billionaires who only socialize with other billionaires. Or celebrities only hanging with other celebrities. When one of them lands on Page 6, don’t scratch your head to ask why…think about the limitations of their networking orbit instead.

When everyone in your immediate network shares the same background, absorbs the same information sources and thinks the same way, you lose access to the insights and opportunities that come from genuine diversity.

The friend who's known you forever and has never stretched beyond your shared world? She'll introduce you to people just like you. The colleague who attends all the same industry events you do? His network overlaps so completely with yours that his introductions rarely open new doors.

The real networking gold lies elsewhere—in the spaces between your existing networks, in what renowned sociologist and author Ronald Burt calls "structural holes."

The Advantages of Having Holes In Your Network

Structural holes theory reveals that your biggest opportunities come from the gaps – and doing positioned to act on them, that is, bridging disconnected groups and proactively brokering introductions to unlock unseen value. When you can connect two networks that don't typically interact, you unlock novel information, unique opportunities, and breakthrough collaborations that neither group would discover alone.

Through this networking lens, the person who seems peripherally connected to your world—maybe through a shared interest rather than profession—often proves more valuable than your closest BFF colleague. The peripheral connection operates in completely different circles and can introduce you to perspectives and opportunities that may never surface in your primary network.

This is exactly why high-achieving women deliberately minimize network overlap in their closest circle of career confidents. They don't want five equally skilled, similarly networked professionals surrounding their ambitions—they seek diversity as each brings the boost of a completely different network and perspective.

Breaking Free from Echo Chambers

When your contacts all know each other, you're trapped hearing the same information recycled, seeing the same opportunities passed around, a networking process that is constantly reinforcing the same blind spots. Your strongest relationships, precisely because they're so similar to you, can't offer what you most need: access to the unknown.

Disconnected networks shatter this limitation. They deliver fresh information, challenge your assumptions, and surface opportunities that would never appear in your comfort zone. Growth and innovation happen at the intersections—where your networking world meets those networking worlds you’re not intimately and continuously engaging with.

Find Your Network Gaps

💡 Start by mapping your current inner circle, the 5 or so people you constantly turn to for support, advice and guidance. Look honestly at overlap—how many work in similar industries, attended the same schools, move in the same professional circles?

💡 Now identify what's missing. What industries, functions, or perspectives never appear in your conversations? Where should you seek out bridges into networks that operate by completely different rules?

💡 The acquaintance from your yoga class who works in tech policy. The neighbor who runs a manufacturing business. The college roommate who became a teacher. These seemingly distant connections could hold the keys to networks and insights you need.

Your next breakthrough isn't hiding in the comfort of your closest contacts. It's waiting in the space between your current networks and the disconnected worlds you have yet to explore.

Need More?

💡 From My Inbox: The Dual Power of Networks

💡 From My Inbox: Small Talk, Big Possibilities

💡 Creating Intertwined Networks to Manage Your Diverse Career Interests (The Wie Suite)

💡 How to Leverage Relationships to Power Your Next Move (Build The Damn Thing podcast)

💡 Building Your Personal Brand Through Authentic Connections (Branding Room Only podcast)