From My Inbox: The Power in a Pause

Picture this scenario.

You're staring at your phone for the umpteenth time today. An email that’s just landed feels urgent—another "quick call" request, another opportunity that demands an immediate yes or no. Your finger hovers over the keyboard, ready to fire back your usual lightning-fast response.

Stop! for a second.

I know you’re hyper-responsive (perhaps you consider this is one of your finest attributes or even a super-power?).

But hold on for a moment to consider this...what if the most powerful thing you could do right now is hit pause.

Yeah, what if you waited to respond, or even more radically, you did nothing at all?

When Success Nearly Kills You

My friend Kathryn Finney—venture capitalist, entrepreneur, author, podcast host, the kind of woman who builds movements and gets sh#t done—was keynoting major conferences and running her own fund (doing all those “how does she do it all” things!) when her body suddenly staged an intervention.

😱 Blood pressure: 190/120.
😱 Diagnosis: Unsustainable.
😱 Doctor's prognosis: "You'll be dead in two years if you keep going like this."

Kathryn had spent a lifetime building companies, funding startups, creating inclusive ecosystems. She’s remarkable. She’s a doer. She’s always “on”. My guess is the default switch on her personal operating system is set to “just get it f’g done”.

So here’s the thing.

When hit with the “unsustainable” diagnosis, she did something that terrified her more than any investor pitch: she paused.

The Pause That Saves Everything

This isn't just about Kathryn.

Too often brilliant women drive themselves into the ground, mistaking constantly being in-motion for progress. Whether it's FOMO fueled hustle or simply confusing busy with effective, we've been sold the lie that success requires sacrifice of everything  - including the stuff that makes life worth living and success sustainable! Stuff like our relationships and well-being.

It's a hustle mentality that robs us of our agency.

Here's what I know about high-achieving women: they understand that self-care isn't selfish, it's a self-first power move. It's essential and strategic. High achieving women put on their own oxygen mask first because they know burnout doesn't just destroy you—it destroys everything you're trying to achieve.

Let me give you another example.

My pal Melissa Gonzalez is an absolute go-getter. Her career started on Wall Street before transitioning to entrepreneurship. Yeah, a leap from one high-pressure 24/7 career into another. She pioneered the pop-up revolution, and today is a recognized thought leader in experiential design and retail strategy (she's a KOL - key opinion leader - in fact).

And just like Kathryn, Melissa was forced to take a life-changing pause: in her case, when she found herself having emergency surgery in the middle of the night.  

The surgery saved her life and as for the recovery time…that doctor mandated, forced pause changed her life. In the stillness, she found she had the space to see options her high-octane, adrenaline-fueled entrepreneur-self completely missed.

Not to be too dramatic about it, the pause completely transformed how she creates, innovates and leads.

The Flow of Stillness

Productivity gurus talk about getting into flow to get more work done. Flow is that immersive state where "time and space seem to compress or expand" and "the noise of uncertainty fades, leaving you feeling in control of your life and free from ruminative thought loops."

But what about getting into the flow of pausing?

The flow of stillness?

The flow of assessing and hearing what really matters to you?

When you're constantly doing—even with "deep work" time slated as a recurring calendar entry - you may be doing, checking sh#t off your to-do list and all that, but you may be missing a bigger picture of possibility, entirely.

A pause creates a different kind of flow state, a flow state to start creating differently.

The pause flow state is one where your subconscious finally has room to work, where solutions emerge not from forcing but from allowing, where clarity cuts through the noise because you've finally stopped.

Building a Life You Don't Need to Recover From

Kathryn didn't just survive her pause—she’s become the strongest, happiest, most creative version of herself. She’s learned to surf, running 5Ks, weightlifting. As she says, in a hat-tip to her WSJ best-selling book, the damn thing she built was herself. And that’s a mighty strong place to go forth and accomplish (more) from.

As for Melissa, her forced pause inspired her to share her story – and her powerful vulnerability resonated with those who found her post (yeah, in other words her post went viral). Melissa is now sharing not only her story but the experiences of other women who have purposefully shifted how they approach well-being and leadership, in her book The Purpose Pivot.

The Networking Pause

💡·      Before you say yes to another committee that "would be great for visibility," pause. Take a moment. Ask yourself: who does taking on this commitment actually serve? Do I have the capacity to fully commit or am I just defaulting to FOMO?

💡·      The next time someone asks for your time, your opinion, or your participation, buy yourself space with these simple words: "Let me think about that and get back to you."

💡·      Then actually pause to think. Consider not just whether you can do it, but whether you should. Whether it serves the life you're building, not just an image you're killing yourself to maintain.

Inserting a pause matters for your relationships too.

💡·      Before you reach out to that contact you haven't spoken to in months, pause. Consider what they're dealing with right now. The most generous thing you can do in any networking scenario is to be present and intentional rather than making assumptions and reacting impulsively.

The Sustainability Flex

Your ambitions deserve more than knee-jerk reactions and people-pleasing yeses. They deserve the clarity that only comes when you stop moving long enough to remember why you started.

The pause isn't passive. It's the most powerful move you can make—choosing intentionality over impulse, sustainability over sprint, building a full life instead of building, building, more building...

The next time a bright shiny opportunity comes knocking, please don't rush to answer the door. Take a breath.

You don't just owe it to your health, well-being and sanity. You owe it to every goal you've set for yourself, and to everything you're trying to achieve.

Pausing isn’t a sign of failure or weakness. It’s how ambitious women build success that lasts.

Need more?

Flow is a fleeting, immersive state in which time and space seem to compress or expand...You have a very clear goal of what you’re trying to achieve...You’re also feeling intrinsically motivated to keep going, and the noise of uncertainty fades, leaving you feeling in control of your life and free from ruminative thought loops.

💡 Ingredients for brilliance (Aeon)

💡 Kathryn Finney on building a life you don't have to recover from (Linkedin)

💡 The Space You’re Trying to Rush Through Might Be the Story Itself (On Becoming with Zeva Bellel)

💡 Reignite your creative fire with blackout poetry – the art of framing what’s already there (psyche)

💡 The Purpose Pivot: How Dynamic Leaders Put Vulnerability and Intuition into Action by Melissa Gonzalez @ Barnes & Noble Amazon BAM! Target Magers & Quinn