From My Inbox: BBBBoundaries

Picture this. You're standing in a packed networking event. You're juggling three conversations (the one you’re currently having, one from earlier in the day and the other you’d forgotten about until this moment), mentally cataloging who needs what from introductions to resources, and already dreading the follow-up emails – and the event is not even half over.

Does this scenario feel and sound familiar?

We've created a give-give-give networking culture where being helpful can spiral into being available to everyone, all the time. Research shows women are 20-30% more likely to be the "go-to" for guidance and collaboration within organizations. We're drowning in other people's urgencies while our goals gasp for air. The result? High-potential women burning out from collaborative overload forcing priorities critical for their own ambitions to take a backseat.

While researching my next book – on the networks of high achieving women – I made an intriguing discovery: these network-prioritizing, highly successful women understand that self-care isn't optional. It’s an essential. It’s non-negotiable. It’s fuel for sustaining their grit – the grit they need to pursue BHAGs and the connections to make those BHAGs a reality. In other words, boundaries play a big part in their self-care routine.

Boundaries aren't walls that keep people out. They're strategic frameworks that support collaborative behaviors AND keep your energy flowing toward what matters most.

The Four Types of Networking Boundaries

From my research, there are four types of networking boundaries:

Time Boundaries: High-achieving women batch their networking requests. One executive I know holds "office hours" twice monthly instead of responding to every "quick coffee" request immediately.

Energy Boundaries: Not all networking choices are draining. Knowing the difference is key. Identify which interactions energize versus deplete you, then organize your networking calendar accordingly. When you protect your energy strategically, you show up as your best self for the connections that matter most.

Emotional Boundaries: You can offer strategic advice without becoming someone's therapist. If conversations with a colleague continuously veer into never-ending complaint sessions, consider a redirect such as "How, beyond talking the problem, could you address this situation?"

Strategic Boundaries: You know the saying “jack of all trades, master of none”. The same can be said of spreading your networking efforts too thinly. When could going deep in a network be beneficial for you? When is it more strategic to focus on strengthening a key connection with access across networks?

Boundaries That Build Bridges

Setting boundaries doesn't mean burning bridges. In fact, the most generous networkers I've studied are also the most boundaried. They've learned that a thoughtful "no" with an alternative is more valuable than a resentful "yes" that leads to subpar follow-through or worse.

The key is having scripts ready so you can respond gracefully in the moment:

💡 "I'm not available for that, but here's someone who might be perfect..."
💡 "My calendar doesn't allow for that timeline, but I could help in [specific way]."
💡 "That's outside my wheelhouse, but I have suggestions on who you could talk to."

Your ambitions deserve the same protection you'd give your most important client meeting. Start there.

Your Networking To-Do:

This week, track your networking energy. Notice which interactions leave you energized versus drained. Use that data to design boundaries that protect your best networking self.

Need more?

📖 In a world full of distractions, knowing why you show up is everything. Recalibrate your why to shore up your boundaries. (The Power of Why in a Noisy World)

📖 Boundaries and Limits (Seth's Blog)

📖 Bestselling author: I’ve interviewed hundreds of ultra-successful people—most of them share these 2 skills (CNBC)

📖 Learn how to address the B word - Boundaries - without guilt or angst. Read Set Boundaries.