From My Inbox: Why Staying Focused Is Your Networking Superpower

About a decade ago I was part of an investor panel at an informal pitch event organized for women entrepreneurs. The women pitching had started a range of businesses – handbags, custom designer carpets, tech  - and the point of the event was to provide both feedback on the pitch (and product) and leads (business, investor, etc.).

This gathering is memorable because of one investor, the legendary Joanne Wilson aka The Gotham Gal and more specifically, her insistence on specifics.

Here’s what transpired.

Up first was the founder of the custom-design carpet company. And she delivered a polished pitch – the PPT was as stunning as her unique designs, she nailed her financials and quite impressively, she was actually showing a small, slightly above ramen-noodle level of profitability after only being in business a short while  - but things took a dog-legged turn when  the organizer asked “what do you need?” (and pointed to the table of investors). The entrepreneur responded breathlessly “I’m seeking investment.”

At this point, Joanne pounced.

“What for?”

Why was an entrepreneur whose financials showed growth and a clear path to profitability, seeking investment? Yes, Joanne made the entrepreneur flip back to her financials slide!

The entrepreneur took it all on the chin and confessed that “she’d like to pay herself a salary… to have a little more breathing room, security…”  - and no, I won’t go into how Joanne pounced on these answers, and will move on to sharing what happened next – as this is where the real learning opportunity resides.

After getting the entrepreneur to step off the ill-advised route of seeking investment (and giving up control of her soon-to-be quite profitable company to an outside investor), Joanne asked “what do you really need?”. The entrepreneur took a deep breath, then rattled off her wish list ranging from the names of the dream-team of interior designers she’d like to meet to leads on affordable office space in the design district to a referral to a good accountant. As quickly as she rattled off each of her specific needs, the investors around the table (together with others in the room) scribbled down answers, referrals and recommendations on the sticky notes the event organizer provided.   

The entrepreneur left the event exhilarated, armed not with what she imagined she needed but with what she really needed to fuel the continued, organic growth to profitability of her self-made business.

Being specific. Thinking down to the tiny-step minutia of what is needed to step a fraction of a step closer to our goals, THIS is the part of networking most people skip when asked a question like:

What do you need?

When your answer to the question is broad or vague, the reality is, you’re not equipping your network to help you – as in immediately help you with actionable leads or intros or options and resources.

Understanding your Focus – and being able to drill down into the specifics of what your goals need in the moment -  is what turns a network ask into a multiplier.

When you’re unclear, your network defaults to what’s convenient, familiar, or obvious. And that’s when you end up stuck in rooms that aren’t aligned with your goals, holding conversations that aren’t useful to the outcomes you're pursuing, with people who don’t understand where you’re going (or why!).

Stating specifically what you’re focused on and what help you need isn’t restricting your networking options, it’s generously fulfilling them. It clearly directs you to who you need to approach with a networking ask (that way, you’re not wasting your own, let alone anyone else’s time). It respects and acknowledges what others are capable of delivering. It unlocks what you need rather than delivering up well-meaning, but essentially unhelpful, distractions.

When you name what you want, you give your network direction.

🗝️ “I want to speak on stages where women in management positions, pursuing career growth and large leadership roles, are in the room.”

🗝️ “I want to reach women navigating mid-career power pivots.”

🗝️ “I want to be part of podcast conversations for accomplished women seeking to achieve more – regardless of the success they have achieved to date.”

These aren’t just wishful statements. They’re strategic signals — cues a network (like mine) can act on.

When your network knows exactly where you’re headed, they know how to truly support you.

🧭 Your Networking Moves This Week:

✅ Take a look at your goals, make sure they’re SMART*, if not, rewrite them, immediately.

✅ For each SMART goal, identify a network connection to help you move toward a goal. When you reach out, tell them what you’re needing or aiming for — clearly, specifically, without apology.

✅ If need be, revisit your WHY filter (as outlined in this earlier post).

 Need more?

🗝️ She Funded 2,500 Black Women—Then Raised Millions to Go Bigger (MSN)

🗝️ Feeling FOMO for something that’s not even fun? It’s not the event you’re missing, it’s the bonding (The Conversation)

*While losing weight may be smart, “I want to lose weight” is not a SMART goal. SMART goals are:

Specific: Goals should be clear and specific, avoiding vague language. Clearly define what you want to accomplish, why it's important etc.

Measurable: Goals should include criteria that can be measured or quantified. This helps in tracking progress (yeah! cross it off your to-do list!) and determining when the goal has been successfully achieved.

Achievable: Goals should be realistic and attainable. While it is great to have BHAGs and ridiculously bold ambitions (hello! how else does systems change happen???), SMART goals ensure you stay motivated in the pursuit of BHAG.

Relevant: Goals should be aligned with your broader objectives and contribute to overall success. Quite simply, the goals you set should make sense within the larger context of what you are trying to achieve.

Time-bound: Goals should have a timeframe or deadline. This helps in prioritizing tasks and/or evaluating opportunities or introductions your network randomly tosses your way etc.

Returning to the non-SMART Goal example of "I want to lose weight." The SMART approach to this goal would be something like: "I will lose 10 pounds in the next 15 weeks by exercising for 30 minutes every day and eliminating sugary treats from my diet. I will track my progress weekly and make adjustments as needed."