Networking Pro-Tip: How To Be Sorry

When should you apologize?

When is an apology essential?

And I'm sorry, when is an apology a sign of something else, unrelated to the thing you're apologizing for?

I'm musing on being "sorry" (not because I'm Canadian), as a result of several missed networking sessions on Zoom. In both instances, I was not the person who had requested the meeting. Both times, I was the one left waiting for the other person to appear.

In the first instance, the person apologized over and over and over again, like a record skipping, before setting a new date for our conversation.

As for the other? Not much more than an emoji, followed by radio silence on rescheduling.

After consulting several reliable sources*...here's my networking etiquette recommendation if you screw-up the timing for a meeting - you requested:

✅ Be transparent with your apology. Stupidity, oversight or just plain old 💩 happens - we've all been there and done that. I apologize for screwing up today and forgetting our Zoom session. It shouldn't have happened, and it did.

✅ Acknowledge your regret at wasting the time from the other person (who likely could have used the time for something other than staring at the Zoom screen hoping you'll appear). Most of all, I'm so sorry for wasting your time as I'm sure you had better things to do than stare at the Zoom screen.

✅ Don't belabor the point! Move on! Providing more and more details on why you failed to show up at the scheduled time, and endlessly saying sorry, detracts from the validity of an honest mistake. If you're still willing, I'd like to get our conversation back on the calendar. Please let me know what works best for you.

✅ Use emojis sparingly.

✅ If you feel a compulsion to continuously apologize in instances such as this, stop and consider why (because the other person has likely recovered from your mistake).

Need more:

👍🏻 The Secret Life of Canada (CBC)

👍🏻 Is It OK To…Delay An Apology (BYDN Blog)

*thank you to my reliable sources - Emily Post, Letitia Baldrige, Kate Spade and Craig Claiborne.