Networking Pro-Tip: How Not To Reconnect With An Acquaintance

We have finely tuned BS detectors. When we receive “interest” in us that is less than genuine, the insincerity shines brighter than a billboard in Times Square on New Year’s Eve. I know I’m not the only one to receive a faux-friendly “would love to see you” which upon further reading is just narcissistic networking nonsense. If you imagine spraying random acquaintances with requests is a reasonable networking approach, read on.

• If you’re sending a “let’s just see who is available” outreach, well, tell it like it is! Let the many recipients of your email know that this is exactly wha you are doing: sending a just in case email to a whole lot of people. Mass emails are annoying and potential relationship killers - in the absence of complete transparency (along with bcc’g all of email recipients).
• If it’s all about you, well, spell that out too! No shame in being excited to tell others about your new job or venture. However, it is shameful to pretend you’re interested in what someone else is doing when the wording of your email clearly indicates you’re really not.
• If you’re looking to have your connections tap into their connections on your behalf, it is incumbent on you to show where the real value is for them to take action, to be the bridge in reputation and outreach into their network. Saying “if you know of anyone” is laughably insufficient, even when the "if you..." is sealed with an enthusiastic exclamation point. 
  

Ok. After the rant of what not to do, of course I have a rant on how to approach an acquaintance or less close or "weak tie". If there is someone who you sort of know, but not really well and you’re seeking to reconnect with, do this: 

• Do your homework before reaching out. Scan their website or online bio or social media profiles to see what they are doing or sharing. In the search you’ll either find information to perfect your ask or the timing of making your ask or both.
• In your email outreach (or DM if you’re relying on social platforms), remind the person how you connected originally. “You may not remember me but…” followed by the particulars of when you crossed paths (ie the seminar or employer or dinner party or whatever) is a more than adequate (and polite) way to start your communication.
• Get to the point. Share why you are specifically seeking the advice or guidance of this person you don't really know very well - without asking for a call or video conference or coffee date to discuss whatever it is you’re seeking.
• If you’ve sought the answer to your question from other sources (including say, their website or newsletter or recently delivered talk), and you’ve been unsuccessful in finding the answer you’re seeking, share this information. Your efforts to answer your own question, displays and builds trust with the other person.

And no, this is the not the first time I've ranted on this topic, and suspect it won't be the last.

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