Networking Pro-Tip: DYK anyone?

On firing off “do you know of anyone?” emails.

The short answer to the sender’s question is No. No, I do not.

It does not matter how great your product or workshop or [whatever] is, if the email hints that I will have to scurry around looking for “anyone I know”, it is just not going to happen. Ever.

Why yes, I do know lots of “anyones” (is that a real word?), but making a meaningful connection, a connection that is valuable for both parties, involves thought…more thought than went into your “do you know of anyone?” email. So my “no” is not “no” I don’t know anyone, it’s no because I simply don’t know and I’m not going to to expend time trying to figure it out when you’ve not expended the same courtesy to in your “do you know of anyone” email outreach.

And yes, I know faithful readers of my Networking Pro-Tips will be shaking their heads thinking…”haven’t we seen a rant or six like this from Kelly before?”…and yes, oh my yes you have dear friends, the “do you know of anyone” email is the ground hog’s day of networking faux pas so brace yourself, you’ll see it again and again and again in the future, because quite simply, some people do. not. learn.

BTW, the email that launched this particular networking rant is below. The sender asks how I am, and hopes all is well - well, it is, now that I’ve blown my top, and marked the sender as spam.

Hi Kelly,

How are you? I hope all is well!

An update on [insert name of company]- we were recently featured on the video series ______, and I have attached the 1 min video here.

Also attached is our revised preseed pitch deck with our traction, we had X% month over month growth in 2022, and Y% annual growth.

We are looking for preseed investors and advisors, so grateful for any connections in the media or investor worlds you might have.

Best,

AND before you tag me as an asshat for posting the email I received, please note, I have deleted the name of the company, the name of the media outlet and the company’s % growth, together with the senders name and accompanying contact information. And with those deletions, WTF are we left with? A GENERIC EMAIL TEMPLATE. Who does this? Actually, I know who does as I have the original email sender’s name BURNED into my memory file of bad-networking strategies. And ONE more point before I drop this (for now), WHO suggests to startup founders seeking seed or any kind of fundraising round, to send a pathetic generic email (with deck attached!) like the one I received? Who does this?????