From My Inbox: What High-Achieving Women Know About Their Networks

It's strange how we keep swallowing the myth that success is a heroic hustle to “overnight” success.

Deep down we all know it’s BS but…for whatever reason we cling to the myth, imagining we can “prove” ourselves this time around by working just a little harder. And if we do, then maybe, just maybe, our efforts will be noticed and the “right” doors will open for us.

Truth is - this success myth wasn’t written for women.

So why do we risk burnout, and continue to frustrate our ambitions, by returning to this broken myth...naively hoping that maybe, just maybe the outcome will turn out differently this time around?

Here’s the thing…there are the women who actually get “there” — and keep getting to “there” — and they are doing something very different.

❌ No, they aren’t networking their ambitions harder.

✅ They're designing the networks their ambition need with intentionality.

And this is something you can choose to do, too.

Break Out of The Broken Networking Model

Here’s what I’ve learned from the research I’ve been conducting since 2019: high-achieving women have dual-structured networks. Yup, two intentionally structured networks fuel their personal success.

Why two?

As laid out in the post “The Dual Power of Networks” there are two distinctly different networks:

🗝️ A broad, wide network for raising visibility, novel ideas, and fresh opportunities.

🗝️ A close, deep network for trusted support, navigation guidance, and critical feedback.

And high achieving women (net)work to ensure they have both. This is their networking advantage and success differentiator.

They deviate from the success myth, by designing a different network.

They build a resilient network infrastructure with a future orientation, rather than one that is hastily assembled in the pursuit of the next opportunity.

They don’t waste their time mindlessly mimicking the networking strategies that work successfully for the guys —that is, relying solely on loose ties found in  broad, wide networks, and benefiting from the spillover benefit of occasionally showing up. Hint: this is the hustle style of networking the success myth is built upon...

High-achieving women curate who surrounds their ambitions. They invest where it counts – and where it counts, as we learned from earlier posts, is in dual networks and in alignment with their Focus. 

Build Your Dream Network Laid the Groundwork

This networking strategy of high achieving women isn’t exactly new to me.

I spotted the pattern in Build Your Dream Network, when I profiled women like venture capitalist Jessica Zatulove, startup founder Devon Brooks, and executive, Varelie Croes — each navigating ambitious career transitions, entering new industries, and leveling up their bold, badass ambitions.

But what they shared wasn’t just ambition. It was clarity — and relationships needed to execute against that clarity.

🚀 Jessica strategized to customize her networking efforts to reach a clearly defined outcome.

🚀 Devon leveraged her strengths then targeted her network interactions to secure a coveted board seat.

🚀 Varelie audited then restructured her network to courageously make a massive career leap.

 The dynamic interplay of dual networks - close confidents and broader industry networks - are central to each of their stories.

These women were able to make strategic networking moves because of their carefully constructed networks.

A New Framework for Women’s Success

From my ongoing research and work, I’ve distilled how high-achieving women network differently into a framework:

Focus + Grit + Networks = Success

It’s not simply a deceptively simple formula. It’s a diagnostic.

If you’re reading this post thinking “crap! I’ve been working hard, doing all the so-called right things and my career is not moving forward at the pace I’d like it to,” it’s likely that one of these levers (Focus +Grit + Networks) is misaligned.

Sometimes our Focus is off because we’ve committed to the wrong goal or are pursuing someone else’s ambition.

Sometimes our determined efforts are burning out our Grit.

But more often than not it’s the “Networks” lever that’s out of alignment  — not because you don’t know people, but because the relationships around you aren’t optimally configured for where you’re headed.

Your Networking To-Do This Week:

🗝️ Ask yourself: what kind of support does my ambition need right now?

🗝️ Is it tactical or emotional support that's required? Do you need loud champions or quiet guides? New doors or honest mirrors?

Take it further by picking one ambitious goal.

🗝️ Who is actively helping you make it real? Is it the support the goal needs? If not, why not? A no answer is a strong signal to switch-up the "with who" and "why" of your networking.

If you feel your ambitions have sputtered or stalled, return to the power of dual networks post and/or challenge your networking choices by scrutinizing your Why. Use the free downloadable worksheet found in The Power of a Why post, to guide you.  

Coming up in the newsletter…I zoom in on why asking better questions is critical. Spoiler alert: better questions are the key to unlocking the network support you need.

Flashback to Build Your Dream Network:

The foundations for the Focus + Grit + Networks = Success formula can be found in Build Your Dream Network, critically in case studies outlining how driven, goal-oriented women strategically evolved their networks to reach their ambitions. Check out Jessica Zatulove’s strategic cold-emailing to success story p.59-64, and discover how her networking approach has evolved, by downloading the (free!) Build Your Dream Network book bonus and reading p.32-38; Devon Brooks’ startup founder to board member networked makeover at p.115-122, and  Varelie Croes networking to position her ambition on a TED stage at p. 187-192.

Need more?

💡 Relationships are key to your success AND your happiness. How Nearly a Century of Happiness Research Led to One Big Finding (The New York Times Magazine)

💡 If You Really Want A "Village," Here's How To Become A Better Villager (Betches)*

💡 Strategies for success: Building a strong, supportive network (Waterloo News)

*Shout-out to Maxie McCoy's newsletter for this gem.