From My Inbox: Two Career Lessons

Jumping back into the archives to highlight a couple of career lessons, lessons which frankly feel as timely today as they did I first shared them - during an interview with Lauren McGoodwin aka Career Contessa. 

These lessons come directly from my experience of seeking a publisher - and the reason I'm sharing them is frankly, they apply to any scenario which present a big win or a massive f'g personal disappointment.

Let's get started.

Lesson One: Careers can unnecessarily pit us against each other, in really unproductive and detrimental ways. 

When you're seeking a publisher, your book publishing odyssey starts with a book proposal, a document in which you bare all your anxieties (I mean accomplishments) and justify your existence (I mean, how you compare against a list of selected competitors). It's an empowering and demoralizing exercise in puffing up your ego, placing all your hopes in someone (an editor) picking you (thereby, validating that you are worthy) and minimizing the work of anyone else who has dared to infringe on your subject matter (i.e. competing titles). 

It's the last part that is crazy. 

Thinking about career books for a second, the category I write in. No search on Amazon or a scan of a shelf in the bookstore required - you know there are a lot of books in the networking / professional development / career advancement / career growth / professional development etc. etc. category.

Let's be real.

It's not as if ONE book has all the answers and perspectives you need.

One book may be essential at a particular point in time, another could be your dog-eared essential reference tool. One may offer a single solid tip amongst pages of blah blah blah, while another highly recommended read sits next to you, unread (with who knows what gold inside).

If it is not one book over the other, just what is needed right now, by you and if that is the case, aren't all those other books companions, not competitors? 

The question for you, then is: who or what are you pitting yourself against rather than focusing on what you can learn from them or how you can collaborate with them? 

If you're struggling to see the value of lesson one, then I suggest you take a listen to this episode of the Build Your Dream Network podcast on the importance of building peer networks, to course-correct your egregious network-building ways before they cause irreparable damage to you career.

Now for lesson two (spoiler alert: it necessitates another mindset shift).

Lesson Two: Stop flipping off what you do with ease. 

Back in 2006-2007 when I still had a regular go-to-the-office JOB, my then boss said to me "you network differently, and you should tell people how you do it". My reaction was to immediately jump to "you're an idiot" (yes, I called my boss an idiot) and "that's the stupidest idea I've ever heard" (or something close to that, perhaps, but it is more likely I said "that is f'g stupidest thing...") - rather than pausing to consider what he said (and responding with a more reflective, composed and mature answer worthy of a senior manager who supposedly was interested in her own career advancement). 

The better response should have been: Tell Me More. 

If I'd dared to take a breath. If I'd cared to ask, then actually listened to my boss, maybe I'd have made different career choices over the next 10 years (yes, it was 10 years or so between the "you should" and the publication of Build Your Dream Network). 

A bit of a sliding door decision or the "two inches" away from a life-changing moment. 

My question to you, so you don't repeat my 10 year mistake: what talents are you not listening to? What does your network seek from you that you are ignoring? Take a pause and listen.

Need more?

Book number two - The Social Billionaire: A Networking Roadmap for Women Seeking to Flourish and Achieve More - will be available for sale soon...but you don't have to wait to get your hands on a piece of this book/workbook. Download Chapter 2 and dive into 2026 career ambitions with the exercises in the chapter, including a network audit.

Steal this suggestion!

Pulling this directly from my friend Caitlin Harper's newsletter, wherein she shared the story of creative community members "promoting" each others work.

Briefly, here's how it worked: Each person answered 3 questions, then someone else in the community was given that info to share within their networks.

I'm sharing this is it's a brilliant example of flipping your mindset from competitive to collaborative (aka career lesson number one, above).

Here's the example Caitlin shared in her newsletter of the info shared with her "secret Santa" to use to promote her work with their network.

• Your newsletter link: https://www.commcoterie.com/newsletter
• Who’s it for? Leaders of small and midsize values-driven companies and nonprofits who want to navigate their organizations through change with compassion and clarity.
• Do you have a blurb that explains it? Commcoterie partners with purpose-led leaders to design strategies, navigate change, and develop clear and compelling stakeholder communication so that their organizations can build a better world. Twice a month, Commcoterie’s newsletter shares strategies and tools for navigating change with compassion and clarity to 1k+ leaders and change-makers.

Steal this suggestion and use it within your trusted community of colleagues, collaborator and peers. If you believe in them, then share it loudly and widely.