From My Inbox: The Burden of Inheritance

"Middle East 1986" was scrawled across the envelope - the top envelope in a medium-sized Bloomingdale's size brown shopping bag filled to the brim with envelopes of photographs. I observed the bag as I was tossing out the trash. And there next to blue recycling bin, the unmissable bag. Treasured travel memories now destined for landfill because the adventurer is dead, and to anyone else, this bag of photographs has no value.

This easily discardable collection of a lifetime of travel memories is the flip-side of what I refer to as the "burden of inheritance".

Think of a painting, ornament or knickknack, a piece of furniture, or a set of china you possess, unwillingly.

The burden of inheritance are objects foisted on you, regardless of taste or space.

Objects the giver demands you hold in some kind of reverence because "it belonged to your grandfather or grandmother or great aunt or whomever". The familial chain of ownership trumping any objections, completely overriding any attempts at resistance to accepting or heaven forbid, doing anything other than retaining the damn object. Does it go with your decor? Do you have fond memories of the relative to whom this thing previously belonged? These considerations are completely irrelevant! It doesn't matter if you like, want or appreciate the object (or the relation), the burden of inheritance bestows heavy, inherent, unchallengeable value - which requires you to be burdened with it (unless you can off-load the thing to someone else in the family, without offense).

But objects aren't the only burdens of inheritance.

Ebony Beckford is the founder of FinLitKids and she's on a mission to to teach children how to manage money early. In teaching the kids, she's empowering the adults around them (parents, teachers, caregivers) to unburden themselves of the attitudes towards money they have inherited. Whether it's fear, lack or abundance, how you value money likely has deep roots in your family tree. And a recent Sunday afternoon conversation with my pal Ebony blew up my concept of the burden of inheritance - in a "doh! of course!" sort of way - because obviously, objects aren't the only thing those around us, lovingly, and in our best interests burden us with.

The burden of inheritance attaches to all the intangibles of our lives. And the attitudes, beliefs, mindsets, perspectives, traditions, and values we inherit may in fact, be a far heavier burden to extract ourselves from (versus finally putting mom's extensive figurine collection up for sale on Ebay).

A reflection for you this week: What are the attitudes, beliefs, mindsets, perspectives, traditions, and/or values you've inherited that are burdening how you approach your present, and future? What could it take to discard these burdens of inheritance?

Listen and watch:

💡 The Power of Family Stories (Hidden Brain)

💡 Harnessing the Power of Stories (Stanford VMware Women's Leadership Innovation Lab)

💡 On being wrong (Ted Talk)

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