From My Inbox: Get Gritty. Not Ground Down.

Here's what I used to think grit meant: working harder than everyone else (more and longer hours), saying yes to every work ask (including too many yes's that resulted in nothing more than missing milestone events, and so many weekends), and powering through exhaustion with "this is what I have to do to excel" pure determination.

Boy, was I wrong.

That wasn't grit - it was a recipe for career burnout and dissatisfaction.

Real grit isn't about grinding yourself into dust. It's about having a sustained strategy to keep moving toward what matters most—even when (especially when!) the path gets difficult, hard and really f'g messy.

The Grit Myth That's Stealing Your Power

Somewhere along the way, you, me and countless others bought into the idea that grit equals suffering. That if you're not exhausted, besting your best on a regular basis, you're not trying hard enough. But here's what I've learned from studying high-achieving women: the ones who actually reach their biggest goals aren't the ones who burn brightest—they're the ones who plan to burn longest.

Here's what I've discovered. True grit - the grit that gets you where you want to go- is three things working together:

• Mindset - Not hustle. Not blind optimism. Grit starts with knowing exactly what you’re working toward — and having the nerve to walk away from what no longer gets you closer.
• Time Allocation - You don’t owe your calendar to other people’s urgency. If your work hours don’t align with your goals, grit won’t save you. It’ll just bury you faster.
• Self-Care - This isn’t bubble baths and burnout cycles. It’s asking: what’s going to let me keep showing up for what matters — not once, but repeatedly, without breaking?

And here’s where networking fits in:

Your grit doesn’t exist in a vacuum. It needs the right network to support it, challenge it, and make it sustainable. The wrong people will drain your drive, suck up all your valuable time, and misdirect you faster than a committee meeting without an agenda.

Three Signs Your Grit Is Out of Sync

1. You're always "pushing through". If every day feels like you're swimming upstream, your focus might be fighting your values. Real grit feels hard but not torturous. When you're aligned with what truly matters to you, the effort feels purposeful, not punishing.

2. Your network exhausts you. Look at your go-to people. Are they career energizers or drains? High-achieving women surround their ambitions with people who fuel their determination, not challenge it every gawd-damn step of the way. If your closest connections are constantly asking "are you sure about this?" or "why are you pushing yourself so hard?" instead of "how can I help?"—that's your answer.

3. You're confusing motion with progress. Busy isn't a badge of honor and it's not necessarily gritty. Gritty is understanding where to spend your yes's. If your calendar is jam packed but your goals aren't moving forward, I'd surmise you're not being gritty—you're scattering your energy too thin.

Where Is Your Career Stealing Your Power?

Here's one question I'd like you to answer. It's a question that stops a lot of people in their tracks: What are you doing out of habit that no longer serves your actual goals?

Think about it - especially if you've never been asked this question before.

What no longer serves your goals?

• That committee you joined when your priorities were different — and stayed on out of habit.
• That mentor whose advice is solid — if you want to stay exactly where you are.
• Those networking events that once sparked new ideas — and now just echo the same old voices.

Grit isn't about doing more—it's an extended effort directed to what really matters.

And it's about building the right kind of network that makes that effort sustainable.

Your energy is finite. Your goals deserve your best energy, not fragmented, scattered, leftover energy.

The women who achieve the most aren't necessarily the ones who work the hardest. They're the ones who work the smartest—with focus, sustained effort, and networks that amplify their ambitions.

The real question isn't whether you have grit. It's whether your grit is working for you or against you.

What's one thing you could stop doing this week to redirect energy toward what actually matters? Hit reply and tell me—as yes, I read every response.