From My Inbox: Determination in Disappointment

Last summer was a doozy.

Or rather, it could have been a doozy - disappointments quickly lining up one after another in a neat, orderly, menacing row - but that doesn't turn out to be the story I'm sharing.

I want to tell you a little bit about the biggest disappointment: being rejected by my publisher. Yes, there was a stack of subsequent rejections from editors at other publishing houses waiting to come, but the first one, was the hardest. Maybe it was hard because it wasn't a rejection that was quick in coming - like the anticipated sting of ripping off a band-aid. No, this rejection lingered in the "will they" or "will they not" wings for some time, before arriving without much fanfare. Or explanation. There was a sense of injustice in having to wait so long to be rejected, but in that hellishly agonizing time of limbo, I unlocked my resilience.

What I gained - after finally being hit by the derailing potential of rejection - was clarity. Clarity on the book. Confidence from realizing that I wrote my second book, not to please any publisher, but solely for me, to satisfy my desire to get certain networking insights into the hands of as many women as possible.

The disappointment in not having a publisher has become freeing. How the book looks, feels and is marketed is 100% my choice. I get to share it and promote it in a way that pleases me. The only ego to be stroked is mine - and I'm getting pretty good at doing that for myself.

I read recently about the job seekers who are actively pursuing 1000 rejections as a way to soothe the sting of not being picked, not landing the job, not being asked for an interview. That's one way of addressing rejection, endlessly charging down the same path towards the same outcome, and I'd like to offer up another suggestion: ask yourself "how else could this work out?"

Swiveling to seeing other routes beyond the one now blocked by rejection, is liberating. My big rejection forced me to pause and consider why I spent 4+ years writing a damn book with absolutely no f'g guarantee that any publisher would want to publish it! The rejection ultimately revealed why I chose to devote myself to this particular writing project. Then opened my eyes to other possibilities of how to get the information out in the world.

How else could you harness the power of rejection? Will you use it to pursue a similar path to yet another rejection or...

Need more?

“I sit at the intersection of so many different skills and networks and perspectives that to limit my identity to my job almost feels disempowering.”

💡Real Insights: The Human Venn Diagram, A Conversation with Christina Wallace (R Street)

💡Why the best leaders embrace ‘strategic disappointment’ (and how you can, too) (Fast Company)

💡Stay in It to Win It: Cate Luzio on Thriving in the startup world (Business Connect)

🚀 My next book is coming very soon (I promise!). Right now I'm in the process of collecting some (marvelous) book reviews and advance praise from entrepreneurs, authors, creators in my network whose opinions I value (and matter to me). While I gather all of these, download Chapter 2 of The Social Billionaire, get your friends to download Chapter 2 (it's free!), follow my author profile on Amazon and keep on top of my posts here, as well as on LinkedIn.

⭐️ On Sunday February 22, my dear friend, coaching pal and fierce, determined cancer warrior, Julie Trombley is offering a free virtual workshop Rooted In Safety for women affected by cancer. Details and sign-up, here.