From My Inbox: You Don’t Have to Be in the Room to Own It

I want to share a story about Glenda Bailey. It’s a story I’ve shared on numerous occasions, so apologizes if you’ve heard it or parts of it before.

Glenda was a force. A fiercely competitive editor-in-chief who made her mark in a fickle, temperamental, high-stakes industry — fashion. An industry where one day you’re the cat’s pajamas, and the next? Oh darling, so passé.

If a fraction of the movie The Devil Wears Prada is to be believed, it’s an industry where extending a helping hand, is likely to be interpreted as a threat.

According to some reliable media industry-insiders, Glenda wasn’t known as being particularly warm and approachable, or even well-liked (maybe she wasn’t aiming for the office Miss Congeniality award). But, in wielding her influence, it appears Glenda was a strategically generous colleague. She networked in a way that not only advanced her own career, it elevated others, too.

Here’s what she did.

Glenda recognized and nurtured talent. She was an extraordinary mentor.

And the people she mentored went on to excel in the fashion industry, ultimately landing top editorial jobs at leading publications. Yup. She networked her mentees into the right rooms. It doesn’t appear that her motives for mentoring others were some disguised form of handing out favors or an altruistic manifestation of the “this is the right thing to do as a woman leader” philosophy. Practically speaking, helping others rise, helped her continued ascendance and longevity in the industry, too.

One reason why I love Glenda’s career story is this: it’s an example where a leader had power and access, and leveraged both, oh so well.

By choosing to operate as she did, Glenda ensured she succeeded, and others did too.

‼️ Glenda opened doors for others - doors that might otherwise have remained shut.

‼️ She named names in the rooms that mattered until those names became the names in the room that mattered.

This is an example that rebuffs the tale that getting access, getting invited the room, getting a seat at the table for yourself, is all there is, that making room for others will leave no room for you.

The foundation of networking is generosity, not scarcity.

Here’s the other important element of Glenda’s story: not every room is yours to join.

Physically being in the room is not necessarily the best networking outcome. Being connected into and part of those conversations however, is. Recall the proverb, all roads lead to Rome...well sometimes relying on others, taking a less direct approach, is the best networking route.

Now you know why I keep sharing this Glenda Bailey story, there is so much networking richness in a story ostensibly about mentoring.

Proximity Is Power — If You Activate It

A few posts ago I wrote about network depth and breadth. Pointing out that women often default to cultivating network depth. It’s our networking strength — until it becomes our networking limitation.

What we miss out on by only emphasizing deep relationships, is the richness to be found in lighter, acquaintance-type connections, so called "loose ties". These connections are tapped into resources you don’t know you need. They’re connected further and farther into networks you’ve never heard of. Here's what the research shows: loose ties are more likely to say your name in the rooms where your reputation, skills and talent need to be.

Loose ties are valuable signal amplifiers and opportunity creators - meaning that leveraging loose ties is a very powerful networking strategy, indeed.

How to Cultivate Loose Ties:

🗝️ Make it easy for them to talk about you. Share clear, compelling updates.

🗝️ Be useful and timely. Offer value, signal boost their work, engage when it matters to them (not just to you).

🗝️ Stay in sight. Consistent relevant engagement trumps a “I’ll reach out if and when I need them” networking mentality.

🗝️ Respect boundaries. These aren’t intimacy-driven relationships. They’re influence-and outcome driven. And as Glenda’s story illustrates, it’s a relationship dynamic which benefit both parties.

Time to think about how your network could be working for you, and to start designing a network around where you want to be.

Your networking moves this week:

✅ Name 3 people who advocate for you when you’re not in the room.

✅ Ask: How am I connected to these people? In what ways am I nurturing these relationships – for their benefit as well as my own?

✅ Identify one loose tie connection— and take one intentional step to remain visible in their orbit. Go back to the tips under “How to Cultivate Loose Ties” above for ideas.

Coming Up Next in this newsletter series: I dive into how clarity of focus is a networking superpower. I’ve been on this soapbox before, and stepping up on it again as is a conversation women really must have.

And the Build Your Dream Network Refresher this week: Elements of Glenda Bailey’s networking style echoes throughout that book.

💡 Finding was to get people talking about her when she wasn’t in the room was part of Devon Brook’s intrepid approach to landing a coveted board seat. See pages 115 to 120.

💡 The short subchapter “Business Bonds, Not BFFs at pages 122-123 illustrates how the potential of a network to deliver results can get clouded by our perceptions.

💡 As to the type of network you’ve got, check out pages 40-43 for a short discussion on strong and weak networking ties.

Need more?

Go back and re-read the post The Dual Power of Networks (including the linked articles).

Check out:

🙈 “Why Do Only Women Get Resources?”: Some Men Are Complaining About How Hard Society Is For Them, And The Responses From Women Need To Be Heard Around The World (Yahoo! Life)

🐒 24 Easy Ways To Add Some Networking Into Your Day (No Additional Zoom Meetings Required!) (BYDN Blog)

🐵 Cycling To Success: How This VC Is Building Her Investor Network (Forbes)

🐒 A Quick Cup Of Decaffeinated Networking (BYDN Blog)